This
final project for Digital Art has been an interesting and terrifying adventure.
I started out with no idea on what I wanted to make. I brainstormed through
everything and could not commit to an idea. I originally wanted to make a video
relating to my emotions. I thought that I should tackle the question “what is
my biggest fear?” I then realized my biggest fear is spiders.. and I
immediately changed that idea! I then tried to make a list of ideas for my
final, but I kept running into the issue of how I am going to execute it. This
really hit me hard, I felt as if I was never going to be able to finish this
project, which really sent me into a panic. After talking with you about ideas,
I had to just tell myself that I need to just pick an idea and do it. The quote
you said to me during our talk really stuck in my head, “ Don’t be afraid to
fail, failure can also be beautiful.” That quote really influenced me to just
let go of being perfect and create something. I finally picked an idea out
after that; I realized when I looked in my notebooks, I make the same doodle
every time. I make these 3d boxes and connect them I kept asking myself "why do i make these? what is my obsession with them?" . I decided I was going to
recreate this doodle into an actual object.
I thought about what I was going to use and I stuck
with my original thought of toothpicks. While making my project, I ran into my
biggest obstacle, how do I stick these toothpicks together? I went out and
bought originally Gorilla Glue and started to make the 3d boxes. I then
realized that gorilla glue took too long to dry for this project. I ran to CVS
and bought the next glue that dries extremely fast… SUPER GLUE! Unfortunately,
super glue can glue together everything but toothpicks. I then went into a
panic and had no idea how this was going to work. I remember thinking to myself
at that moment that I am going to fail my final and it is going to look awful.
I almost had a mental breakdown at that point. My friend then suggested a hot
glue gun she had. At that point I felt hopeless and just tried what I could
because all I could think about was what you said, “failure can be beautiful”.
Once I started trying the hot glue I realized it actually was working. It was
crazy how my mood changed in a span of 3 seconds, I felt like I was bipolar
going from near tears to excited in three seconds! I started to make the
squares and they actually started to turn out, so I decided I would video tape
what they really looked like because I felt as if a picture didn’t give it
enough detail to see how 3d it really is and how it was made.
After the process was over, I made my project
into a video. I felt as if this was the best way to present it. I didn't use any voice because whenever i am drawing them i feel like my mind is totally blank and there is nothing going on in my head. I wanted the watcher to just kind of have a weird feeling when they watch it and feel awkward. Becoming obsessed with something and not realizing you are obsessed is in my eyes, awkward. That is what i tried to portray. My thought on
this project was probably not the best for me. For the first time in my life I can say
I had “writers block” but as an artist. I experienced many different emotions
during this project. I became so frustrated with myself that I almost just gave
up on this project. While rewatching my video, I am to the point where I don’t
really understand what I made. I am hoping that in the future I will watch it
again and really understand why I made what I did and what it really meant. I assumed that during this project i would figure out why i make the doodles i do, but I failed to find that out during the process. Hopefully, I can look back and find the answer someday. I
felt as if this project really pushed me in a difficult way. Part of me would
rather take a chemistry exam here, instead of redoing this project! Overall, I
am satisfied with my final and hope you understand it and enjoy!
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